Friday, June 29, 2012

Parents....Wiser Than We Think!

      I know it has been a long time since I have written anything, but I haven't had anything important to write about until now! :) This past week I drove up to Cincinnati to visit my family and surprise my mom for her birthday! One night as we were talking I was telling them how I understood now so much more of why they did the things they did when I was a teenager. I used to complain about their rules and think they were stupid, much like any "normal" teenager does. However, as an adult now, and one who thinks more and more about how I will raise my children, everything they did makes so much sense! I hear young people today talk bad about their parents, complain about everything they do, and it makes me so sad for them. One day I know they will regret their actions as a youth when they understand life in the big picture and not just the here and now.
     The idea for this post came while I was laying in bed after talking with my parents one night. I thought about when I was younger and I blamed my parents for everything that was wrong in my life, and then how I realized now that everything they did helped me to become the person I am today. Their "dumb" rules helped to keep me out of trouble and get me to the place I am now! Most people today focus on all that their parents did wrong when they were raising them...what if we stopped and thought about everything they did right?
     Here are some things that my parents did "right":
  • They taught me to respect my elders. This doesn't mean just the aged, but anyone in authority over me. My dad was always telling me, "Salute the uniform, not the person in the uniform." This saying still sticks with me today, and even though I deal with some people who do not deserve respect, I give it to them anyway. 
  • My parents taught me the value of a dollar. I began working as a babysitter/nanny at the age of 12. I got a job when I was 16. I paid for my own insurance until I went to college, and I paid for much of my way through college. Were my parents doing this to be mean? No! They were teaching me to work hard, and to have respect for money! To this day my parents tell me that I can stretch a dollar farther than almost anyone they know! I pinch pennies, shop clearance racks, use coupons, use Craigslist, and almost never spend full price on anything! They taught me to value money.
  • My parents taught me a good work ethic. I learned not to be afraid to work hard for something you want. Sure I had my times as a youth when I was lazy, but now as an adult I work hard to take care of my family, and I worked hard when I had secular jobs.
  • They taught me the importance of an education. I studied hard when I went to school, and even though many things came easy for me, I still worked hard to make good grades. I'm so glad I went to college and graduated!
  • I learned from my mom how to keep a good house! What I think is a messy house is spotless to many people! LOL I learned from her to be organized, clean, be a good cook, and to take care of my home and those in it.
  • I learned to be giving! They were always helping out someone if they had the means to do it. Now I try to lend a helping hand if I am able.
  • I learned character and values. Simple things such a determination, perseverance, finishing a job, doing quality work, being kind, honest, understanding, loving, integrity, faithfulness, and much more. These values guide me in decisions I make today, and in how I carry myself before others.
  • They taught me how to have a marriage that lasts. My dad told me as a young adult that the word divorce should never be an option. He taught that marriage is more give and less take, and if you both give 100% to each other and God then your marriage will last. 
  • He taught me about God. My dad was the one to lead me to Christ as a child, and he was the one I learned so much about church, the Bible, and how to be a good Christian. He taught me that you always go to church, even when you don't feel like it.
I could go on and on about things that I learned from my parents, but then then post would last way too long. My challenge is this. Instead of focusing on the negative about our parents so much, lets look at the positive. Young people and even adults usually give themselves so much more room to make mistakes than they give to their parents. Perhaps we should remember that our parents are human too, and we should extend the same forgiveness and understanding to them that we expect them to give to us. If you are an adult reading this and you blame your parents for problems in your life, perhaps they do carry some blame. But as an adult, your parents can no longer be blamed for your problems now. I know because I used to do that. But then I realized that I was responsible for my own actions now, and it was up to me to choose to make myself into the person God wanted me to be. Today, think about your parents and who they have made you. Chances are, you will realize that they taught you more good than bad, and you will be so grateful for the parents God gave you!