Parents....Wiser Than We Think!

      I know it has been a long time since I have written anything, but I haven't had anything important to write about until now! :) This past week I drove up to Cincinnati to visit my family and surprise my mom for her birthday! One night as we were talking I was telling them how I understood now so much more of why they did the things they did when I was a teenager. I used to complain about their rules and think they were stupid, much like any "normal" teenager does. However, as an adult now, and one who thinks more and more about how I will raise my children, everything they did makes so much sense! I hear young people today talk bad about their parents, complain about everything they do, and it makes me so sad for them. One day I know they will regret their actions as a youth when they understand life in the big picture and not just the here and now.
     The idea for this post came while I was laying in bed after talking with my parents one night. I thought about when I was younger and I blamed my parents for everything that was wrong in my life, and then how I realized now that everything they did helped me to become the person I am today. Their "dumb" rules helped to keep me out of trouble and get me to the place I am now! Most people today focus on all that their parents did wrong when they were raising them...what if we stopped and thought about everything they did right?
     Here are some things that my parents did "right":

• They taught me to respect my elders. This doesn't mean just the aged, but anyone in authority over me. My dad was always telling me, "Salute the uniform, not the person in the uniform." This saying still sticks with me today, and even though I deal with some people who do not deserve respect, I give it to them anyway. 
• My parents taught me the value of a dollar. I began working as a babysitter/nanny at the age of 12. I got a job when I was 16. I paid for my own insurance until I went to college, and I paid for much of my way through college. Were my parents doing this to be mean? No! They were teaching me to work hard, and to have respect for money! To this day my parents tell me that I can stretch a dollar farther than almost anyone they know! I pinch pennies, shop clearance racks, use coupons, use Craigslist, and almost never spend full price on anything! They taught me to value money.
• My parents taught me a good work ethic. I learned not to be afraid to work hard for something you want. Sure I had my times as a youth when I was lazy, but now as an adult I work hard to take care of my family, and I worked hard when I had secular jobs.
• They taught me the importance of an education. I studied hard when I went to school, and even though many things came easy for me, I still worked hard to make good grades. I'm so glad I went to college and graduated!
• I learned from my mom how to keep a good house! What I think is a messy house is spotless to many people! LOL I learned from her to be organized, clean, be a good cook, and to take care of my home and those in it.
• I learned to be giving! They were always helping out someone if they had the means to do it. Now I try to lend a helping hand if I am able.
• I learned character and values. Simple things such a determination, perseverance, finishing a job, doing quality work, being kind, honest, understanding, loving, integrity, faithfulness, and much more. These values guide me in decisions I make today, and in how I carry myself before others.
• They taught me how to have a marriage that lasts. My dad told me as a young adult that the word divorce should never be an option. He taught that marriage is more give and less take, and if you both give 100% to each other and God then your marriage will last. 

• He taught me about God. My dad was the one to lead me to Christ as a child, and he was the one I learned so much about church, the Bible, and how to be a good Christian. He taught me that you always go to church, even when you don't feel like it.

I could go on and on about things that I learned from my parents, but then then post would last way too long. My challenge is this. Instead of focusing on the negative about our parents so much, lets look at the positive. Young people and even adults usually give themselves so much more room to make mistakes than they give to their parents. Perhaps we should remember that our parents are human too, and we should extend the same forgiveness and understanding to them that we expect them to give to us. If you are an adult reading this and you blame your parents for problems in your life, perhaps they do carry some blame. But as an adult, your parents can no longer be blamed for your problems now. I know because I used to do that. But then I realized that I was responsible for my own actions now, and it was up to me to choose to make myself into the person God wanted me to be. Today, think about your parents and who they have made you. Chances are, you will realize that they taught you more good than bad, and you will be so grateful for the parents God gave you!

Loving Your Neighbor

     As I begin writing this I'm a bit unsure of what to title this post. I felt the need to write a post on the topic of opinions vs. judgments after seeing a post "war" on Facebook recently. Many of you will know exactly what I am speaking of and many will not. However, the point is not to attack anyone for what they put on Facebook, or reveal who was upset or excited by it. My point is the address those who grew angry about what was said, and to address those who were throwing verse after verse and comment after comment at those people who were angry. If you begin reading this I ask that you please finish it before you judge me for what you think I am saying.
     So many times Christians are unable to agree on differing opinions because we all feel so strongly about our personal beliefs and opinions. This is not necessarily a bad thing to feel differently, or to disagree. My problem is with how we go about disagreeing with one another. Proverbs 15:1 states, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." It also states in Proverbs 18:19, "A brother offended is harder to be won that a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle." Now I realize that the truth is not always a palatable thing to hear, and a preacher in the pulpit is not there to preach warm fuzzies and make everyone feel good. If he is a true man of God he is there to relay to God's people what God has given him to say. HOWEVER....it is not okay to take what God has given you and blast God's people with it as if they are the most wicked people on the planet and they are going to hell if they do such things. Now I realize that may be an exaggeration for most preachers, but I have heard many preachers say such things in that exact manner. By the same token, God's people are given the same command as such preachers are, and it grieves me to see preachers and Christians alike taking their opinions and attaching Scripture to them and bashing other Christians on the proverbial head for their beliefs. Ephesians chapter 4 speaks to new Christians on how we are to live and what our duties are...and then states in verse 15 "But speaking the TRUTH IN LOVE, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:". Have you ever head the expression "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"? This is what these verse I have written down are talking about. I do not agree with every Christian or lost person I might come in contact with about their beliefs and opinions. Do we discuss them? Sometimes. Do I agree with them? Not usually. Do I beat them over the head with my opinion, Bible, and treat them as though they are pond scum for believing that way? NO NO NO NO!!!!! How am I ever supposed to expect them to come to church, get saved, or if already a Christian, grow in Christ if I treat them that way? The problem with Christians is that we don't act like Christ would! Yes, I know that he was hard on some people at times, and he was pretty harsh with his words, but that was also when he was pushed to the very limit by these Pharisees and people who were self-righteous. With those who were very aware of what kind of person they are, such as the sinners and Saducees, he was kind and loving. God says in I Peter 5:6, "Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due season." If Christians think that by going around being self-righteous about how Godly you think you are, and then you ignore these other verse and attack other Christians for the way they believe, you are no better than the Pharisees of the Bible, and we know that God had very little use for them or their attitudes. Now I realize my preface to the main point is taking a while, but I hope you will bear with me.
     I have personally been on the receiving end of some pretty harsh criticisms for my own personal standards, just as many of you that will read this have. And I can safely say that 99% percent of the time, those criticisms come from Independent Fundamental Baptist people who act as thought they are better than me because they have "better" standards that I do. No, they don't, they are just different. The difference between me and them is that I don't attack their standards, but they attack mine. I don't make my standards lightly, and I pray diligently and ask the Lord to show me if my opinion on something is correct, and if I feel that God is pleased with the standards I have chosen, then I don't really care if someone else doesn't agree with me. The problem with most Christians is that they feel that I couldn't possibly be right, and they think that they can prove from Scripture where I'm wrong, when I know that they can't and that their opinion is based on what they think they can prove from the Bible. If God shows you something from the Bible and gives you a verse for it, great....but that doesn't mean that that particular verse is suddenly the doctrinal proof as to why your standard is Biblical and everyone else's is not. Christian, God does not expect us to be cookie cutter, he expects us to have an individual, personal relationship with Him. He does not want us to choose our standards because some man decided years ago that that was what Baptists should do. He wants us to come to Him and ask him to make us what he wants us to be. Everyone grows and matures at different times and stages, and it is not our job to be God's policeman and tell them what and when they should do things when perhaps God is not worried about that step yet. Our job is to love people, and let the Holy Spirit do his job. If you are a preacher, then if God lays something on your heart, preach it from your pulpit, where God intended for you to preach it. Don't bandy it about on Facebook where you might be hurting another preacher's people with your harsh words. If you are a Christian, don't be afraid to stand on what you believe. You may take a lot of flak for it, but if you truly believe that you have God's peace about your standards, then stand. DON'T attack others for feeling differently!
     Now to my main point, the Facebook conversation I saw and participated in briefly. The post I originally commented on was something I agreed with, but I did not agree with how it was presented or how many of the "Independent Fundamentalists" commented on it. I, however, posted something later on the exact same topic, but was very kind and non-confrontational about it, and it was well-received by most. The difference? I was standing for what I believed, but I spoke the truth with kindness. I did not attack those who felt differently, because it is not my place to. If God wants them to change their mind, He is capable of dealing with them. But me ranting at them for being wrong will never change their mind. In fact, it will usually tend to have the exact opposite effect.
     Christians, we have so little time left on this earth, and we spend more time arguing about standards and differences of opinion than we do telling others of Jesus and being an example of Christ. It is no surprise many people do not want our Jesus because they see how we act and how we treat each other. I have been treated more kindly by people who are lost or Christians who still smoke, drink and do things I may not agree with, and some of the worst treatment I have received was at the hands of Christians who walk around as if they are the most righteous people in the world. I will close with these few thoughts. First, get a walk with God and find out what he wants you to believe, don't just believe what a few great preachers of yesteryear told you to believe. Secondly, if someone else doesn't agree with your standards or convictions, get over it  and if you feel they are wrong, pray for them. Also, pray for yourself in case you are wrong in judging them and maybe God will show you that. Thirdly, remember that doctrine and clearly outlined sins in the Bible are worth fighting over, not personal convictions. It's ok to stand firm about why you believe in your personal convictions, but don't attack or verbally assault those who feel differently. And finally, remember that the first and greatest commandment in the Bible is to love God, and the second after that is to love your neighbor. How are you doing at loving your neighbor?

Rico and the Nail Gun

My husband Kyle and I are currently in the midst of a huge renovation project on our floors. We have been laying tile and will soon be laying wood laminate flooring, as well as putting up new trim and baseboard. It will look great when finished, but everything is currently a huge mess in our home! This morning my husband was using a finishing nail gun to put up the trim in my laundry room so that we can put it back together and I can finally do laundry again! LOL Rico, our oldest doberman pup, has been handling most of the construction tools pretty well, but this morning he nearly had a coronary when he heard the nail gun! He proceeded to tuck his nub between his legs and run upstairs in terror. When I went to find him he was laying in our bedroom closet on a pile of our clothes looking like the world was coming to an end! LOL Poor guy laid there for over an hour until Kyle finished with it, and even now he is slightly afraid to go downstairs. While it was breaking my heart to see him so scared and hiding...I do admit to having a good laugh over how terrified he was. So there is my humorous story of remodeling today! Below is a picture of my two babies..Rico and Zoe. By the way, Zoe is usually our skittish one, so it was hilarious to see her completely unfazed by the nail gun.
                                                                  Zoe

                                                                   Rico

                             They love each other..and love to torment each other!

The Story Behind the Blog

Welcome to my blog! I used to say I would never ever blog about my life, but sometimes I find it so amusing and educational that I thought perhaps others would find some entertainment in my stories, and learn something with me along the way. The title came to me recently because my husband and I have been doing quite a bit of remodeling on our home. As I thought about how much work we go through, and the blood, sweat, and tears that we shed through the ups and downs of each project; I realized how much like life remodeling is. You see, none of us are ever happy with our life exactly how it is. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we are always trying to make ourselves better, whether it be through self-examination, trying to be a more devoted Christian, finally trying to read our Bible through, controlling our temper, not being critical, being more patient, or even things like finding a new outfit or getting a new hairstyle. Our lives are in a constant state of being remodeled. The sad thing that I have come to realize about myself is that I am usually remodeling it to how I want it to be and not after the one who matters most, Jesus Christ. Romans 12:2 says, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." Now the goal of this blog is not to be preachy, or even to be serious all of the time. It is in fact, to share my enlightening and sometimes humorous journey as I seek to transform, or remodel, my life according to how I believe God wants me to be. I am nowhere near where I should be as a person, wife, Christian, friend, sister, daughter, or in any other relationship I might have. I want to always be striving to make my life be better for those around me and to be pleasing to God, just as my husband and I are always working to remodel our house to be what we want it to be. I hope that my thoughts might be encouraging to those who read, and perhaps make you smile on a day when you need it! Enjoy, and God bless!